At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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