can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
no, he came in my armpit
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
