man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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