I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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