Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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