The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I did not marry a roomba.
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