Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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