If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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