There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
