someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
