Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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