I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
