I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
