After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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