wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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