That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
