But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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