I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
