We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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