Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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