Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
