i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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