How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
