yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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