I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have already put on my inside pants.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
