D3 body, D1 cock
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
