watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
