I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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