I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
