We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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