Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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