Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
