I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
