Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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