You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
