You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
