wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Terrible idea I love it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
