I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
