If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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