i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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