so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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