Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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