We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
