i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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