Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
