My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
