It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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