sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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