Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
