she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
